How to overcome overthinking? – Part 4

The last few weeks I gave an overview of what is overthinking (see here), why it isn’t helpful (see here) and what usually causes it (see here). It’s important to understand a problem and what triggers it in order to best find a solution. It’s also important not to fall into the trap of overthinking about overthinking, however. In this article I will show a few strategies. Try at least one, or more, if you feel able. Give yourself a reasonable time limit and keep a journal or diary so that it doesn’t stay in your head too long and you can actually see your progress.

Here are the tips and tricks that come up with overthinking. I notice a big overlap between these and some of the techniques I’ve already shared for anxiety but also very helpful in this context:

Step 1: Increase awareness of thoughts

Every time there is a thought loop about something, write it down. Realising that a thought we are having is part of the overthinking habit is the first step in overcoming it. This self-awareness takes time to develop, but if we notice that a thought we are having is more negative, or unhelpful it is time to try the next steps.

Step 2: Try out different strategies to reduce, manage and change thinking habits.

Individual strategies:

• Relaxation: Meditation, deep breathing exercises, a warm bath, going for a walk, playing with pets, or any other relaxation technique can help us reduce the impact that negative thoughts can have by decreasing the stress response of our bodies. It can also reduce the anxiety or depression that can be triggered by these thoughts. What do you find relaxing? Go and do it.
• Mindfulness: Living in the present moment is a practice that is taught through mindfulness. It’s not a quick fix, but regular practice can be very beneficial on overthinking and the other impacts that it has on our health. We are not ruminating about the past or worrying about the future while we are being mindful. For those of us that ruminate about the present, it may not work as well, but that is why trying different techniques is beneficial.
• Perspective: I’ve realised this week that this advice comes up very often. We need to look objectively at our thoughts. We tend to over-identify with whatever has us overthinking and often are consumed by the thoughts. Taking some distance and realising the actual value of our thoughts can be beneficial. Ask yourself some questions:
  • “Will this issue still matter in a year, five years, etc.?”
  • “Are these thoughts useful to me?”
• Try problem-focused thinking: There are two options once we have awareness that we are overthinking. We can decide how we want to move forward with these two options:
  • If we realise that the issue we are overthinking is not worth focusing on, we should turn our attention and energy elsewhere.
  • If we realise what the problem is at the root of our overthinking, then we can make a plan to proactively solve the problem.

Bonus quote:

“If there is no solution to the problem then don’t waste time worrying about it. If there is a solution to the problem, then don’t waste time worrying about it.”

– Dalai Lama.

• Distract yourself: The brain will probably keep working on the solution in the background so if we “sleep on it” or take a break and do something else for a bit, it can be a way to re-charge, get a break from the worry or rumination and even come up with a solution when we aren’t so focused on it. Be aware that we run the risk of procrastinating under the banner of “distraction”. If we give ourselves a time limit, or a deadline it will help to avoid this pitfall.
• Challenge negative thoughts: Thoughts are not facts. This piece of wisdom gets repeated in many different contexts, but still applies here. Just as with changing our perspective, learning to re-frame our negative thoughts into positive ones can help to relieve the tendency to overthink. Ask these questions about thoughts when the suspicion that they are negative surfaces:
  • Are your thoughts realistic? Fact?
  • Are your thoughts helpful?
  • What other scenarios are there? Best-case? Most-likely scenario?
  • How do I reframe my thoughts in a positive way?

It is not easy to do. But with practice, it is possible to replace negative thoughts with more positive ones, or at least with more helpful thoughts. And there is quite a bit of research that supports this as a good technique not only for overthinking, but for anxiety, low self-esteem and depression as well.

• Practice Self-Acceptance: When ruminating about the past or worrying about things that cannot be changed and they involve berating and even bullying for the things we regret, the overthinking spiral can get worse. Instead, trying to work on acceptance, forgiveness, and compassion towards the self can balance out those negative thoughts and help with the overthinking. How would you tell a friend or a loved one to deal with the mistake or issue that is causing the rumination or worry? Here are a few tips to use to help with this:
  • Practice gratitude and think about the aspects of yourself that you appreciate.
  • Give yourself the challenge to come up with one good thing for yourself every day.
  • Cultivate a strong support system of people that can provide encouragement and love.
  • Forgive yourself for things you regret.
• Brain unloading: Journaling is a helpful way to get thoughts out of our heads, so they become less overwhelming. Making lists or plans is more action-oriented and can help lessen the overthinking phase. Writing ideas down can also make it easier to change perspective or challenge negative thoughts. Even awareness that a thought is more negative can come easier with this technique. It doesn’t need to be fancy or neat. It can be a on a word processor or a sticky note or anything in between. Just write down whatever thought that comes to mind, especially the ones that reappears over and over again, that bring about negative emotions, and that are unhelpful in finding solutions. It is a good indication we are facing an overthinking loop.
• Breaking down huge tasks into smaller ones: Multiple smaller steps can be easier to prevent overwhelm and help the brain go from analysing mode (how will I do this big thing?) to ok what’s the next step which is easier to act on.
• Fully embrace the futility of overthinking: write the times that overthinking helped. Were there more positive or negative outcomes associated with it? Understanding that we don’t get the benefits we think we do from this habit can make it easier to change it.
• Schedule time to worry: This may seem counter-intuitive but spending only 15 minutes a day on worry instead of all day, every-day (in some cases) is extremely beneficial and can help decrease our dependence on this habit. It can also be helpful if we schedule this time in the morning. It may help to improve our sleep, because we can get used to not worrying at any other time than what we schedule. Therefore, our brain only goes in “hamster-” or “runaway train” mode once during the day and not at night when we are trying to sleep, rest, and recharge.

Group or shared strategies:

These next strategies are strategies that are better done with other people, or help to improve your relationships with others (and in some ways with our selves as well):

• Work on your interpersonal skills: Improving your interpersonal skills has been shown to help from overthinking. Here are a few ways to boost your interpersonal skills:
  • Increase your self-awareness (as mentioned before, this is really the first step in this process). It is hard to try strategies if we have no idea what thoughts we are having or if they apply. But being self-aware can help us improve our perspective, understand our influence and helps us to better listen without bias and judgment. And lower our assumptions of others and how we are actually perceived by others.
  • Boost your self-confidence: self-confidence is important to reduce the effect of rumination and is linked to less second-guessing of our decisions. It also has the added benefit of showing our strengths to others and increasing our abilities to speak clearly and concisely.
  • Practice self-control: Learning to temper our thoughts and feelings can lower the response and we would lower our triggers and some of the sources of overthinking.

• Talk it out: It is important to keep in mind that “thoughts are not facts.” We lie to ourselves. That is why getting an outside perspective can be invaluable with someone you trust and help change your perspective about how you think about a problem, or see a situation.
• Learn from your pets: Animals do have stress; however, they don’t tend to exhibit signs of chronic stress like we do. They seem to live more in the “present”, so it may be a good idea to try to imitate the animals in our lives when it comes to living in the moment.
• Immerse Yourself in Nature: Though not a group activity per se, it can be and it does require you to go out into the world. There is research that says a 90-minute walk in natural settings or at the very least in fresh air can help lower the inclination toward rumination.
• Therapy: If you have particularly stubborn overthinking or have trouble realising which thoughts are overthinking loops or what causes them, you may need professional help. Also, if you’ve tried the above tips and they did not work, it may also mean your overthinking is of the stubborn type. If you also have mental health issues like anxiety and depression, please consider this option as well as there could be other underlying issues. Cognitive-behavioural therapy, one of the therapies on offer for this kind of problem, can be a good opportunity to learn how to change your thought habits and get new perspective on the root causes and what the overthinking issues are.

Thoughts are patterns that become habitual over the years. It will take time and effort, but it is worth it to improve our quality of life and lessen the impact on our social, physical, and mental health. Learning these patterns, understanding what causes them and how to stop or change them can help us break free of the overthinking cycle and start acting. So don’t think about it; go out and do it. That is the next step.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed and learned from this series on overthinking. I haven’t yet decided what to do next but if you have a suggestion please leave it in the comment section.

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

– Les Brown

Resources

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-know-when-youre-overthinking-5077069

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-runaway-mind/202001/are-you-overthinker

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/personality-disorders/what-is-overthinking-disorder/https://ipb.ac.id/news/index/2022/09/frequently-overthinking-know-the-cause-and-how-to-overcome-it-from-ipb-university-lecturers/9bde180f3f2bae535522513a7dedc12c

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