On the Journey, Six-month update

This post will mark my 26^th week working on this blog. That means I’m halfway through my first year. Already. I’m back full time at work after a few months of time off for my burnout. Things are a bit better now I’ve been given different tasks. The reaction of my colleagues to my absence that I had been dreading didn’t happen. That just goes to show that the stories we tell ourselves, and the worries we impose on ourselves may not be that useful.

I’ve learned a lot doing the research for this blog. A lot of tips and tricks and a lot of information over the weeks. I’ve been asked an interesting question lately. With all that information, my recommendation is always to start with baby steps but what steps exactly? I’ll be honest, aside from reading books my therapist recommended, having a weekly therapy and my new medication I hadn’t really done any of the tips and tricks I had recommended that would help me get better faster. Until the start of December that is. I decided to just focus on one aspect that I wanted to improve.

I’ve always had low energy levels, so I wanted to “have more energy”. I asked myself the question “What simple things can I do to help get a little more energy?” And the advice and tips that always come back in this case are vitamins, exercise, sleep hygiene and I added journaling because it is often recommended for mental health issues as well. It is recommended to give yourself only one or two areas to focus on and add and adjust as you go along. But I couldn’t pick just two, so I went with four for my first month. The danger here is that you are so overwhelmed you don’t even begin one of them, but in my case, I went small and easy enough that I could focus on all four this month.

So, my baby steps in this case were to try to develop new and healthier habits in those four aspects. Starting with exercise and setting myself the rule that no more than four days could pass between exercise sessions (and I count everything that makes my heart go into fat burn zone at minimum… thanks to my health watch I can tell). I have so much difficulty motivating myself to do exercise I’m not even giving myself a minimum time just a maximum number of days I can stay sedentary. For the vitamins, my baby step was eating at least one fruit a day. To work on my sleep hygiene, I gave myself a max time to go to bed. Finally, I set up a word document and started a journal. Before bed I would write my worries, what happened during the day, 1 good thing for the day and a daily quote.

I made myself a habit tracker calendar so that I could keep track of how I was doing for all of these. I kept it simple. I put an x for days I didn’t do something, put a checkmark for days I did it and a yellow exclamation point if I could give myself half-points (for example if I went to bed within fifteen minutes of my “curfew” I gave myself half-points). Then if I want to see how well I did, I added up every check mark (I counted them as a one) and every yellow mark as (counted it as half a point). I then divided by the number of days in the month. Then I could get a percentage “grade” for my month by multiplying the total by 100.

So, what were my results for this first month? For all four new habits I wanted to improve or add, I got a score above 60% of the time. For the daily fruit, I got more than 95%. What does that mean to me? I do have room for improvement, but overall, I did pretty well, and it encourages me to continue with this habit tracking project.

Do you need to calculate for yourself the way I did? Probably not, but I’m performance focused and I need to know how I’m doing. I found I also need some structure but freedom within that structure (It was really difficult for me to find the right balance because those are pretty opposite concepts…) The other important point I found with this experiment were my expectations. I think a big reason I’ve never succeeded in adding these healthier routines to my day were not only because I was giving myself very limiting goals, but I also had unrealistic expectations of doing them daily or three times a week without fail. Life happens and especially with the Holiday’s over December. Sure 100% would be better, but baby steps mean managing our expectations and going at it slowly. Setting realistic goals is difficult so start and see how you do your first month then adjust and you’ll have a better idea how to set those realistic goals.

Giving myself permission to do less than 100% and particularly to set a baseline this month gives me a starting point for this next month. For my exercise goal this month, as there needs some rest days, for the body to recuperate, a more realistic goal for that would be 75%. I may reach it, I may not, but at least I’m moving, and I do have a bit more energy. At least more energy than when I started in December.

I’m so much better at eating at least a fruit day that I’m removing it from my tracker. Does that mean I’m not going to keep doing it? Not at all. I’m just going to keep doing it. I feel confident that the habit is acquired, but if I find myself skipping too much then I always have the option of putting it back in the tracker.

The habit I had most difficulty with was with the journaling, but by being kind to myself and learning to forgive my slip-ups I can keep going. I’m also going to try to do it at a different time of day because perhaps before bed isn’t the right time for me. This month I will be trying to write in my journal when I wake up while drinking my morning coffee and write for the previous day and see at the end of the month if it is better and I write more…

Being kind is important when trying to start a new habit or modify an existing habit. I try to think what I would say to a friend who had difficulty keeping up with a resolution. How would I encourage them? And then I say that to myself instead of listening to my inner bully that just considers less than perfection a failure… I’ve come to realise that this thought is not realistic, and not healthy. That is another important fact I’ve learned over the last six months, that my thoughts are not facts and that no matter what thoughts I have I can still act. I don’t have to let fear keep paralysing me. I can do it. And if I can do it, why not you?

I’m looking forward to the next year. Strangely my six-month update coincides with the first week of January 2023. As is customary, I have a few resolutions for this new year, but I’ve never been more confident than now that I can actually keep them. And one of them is to continue with this blog and hopefully figure out a way to move past step seven of the twelve step course I’m following to make a living with this blog. I’ve also added improving my drawing skills so maybe I will be able to add illustrations to the blog as time goes on. We’ll see! What are your resolutions this year? What will you try and what will be your first baby step? Start with a realistic goal for something that is important to you. Remember, babies keep falling when they take their first steps. The important part is to get up and keep going just as a baby does.  

“Don’t make resolutions without an action plan. The secret to success is right in your hands.”

– J. Allen Shaw